he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
