but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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