Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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