Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
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i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
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Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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