Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
