My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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