IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
