At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
