i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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