return my video game
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
