end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I party with great urgency now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
