i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize