I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
This toilet bowl is my home.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
