yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
