even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
