BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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