We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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