don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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