If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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