we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
