Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My bed smells like the plague
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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