this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
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I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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