ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
