I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
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so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
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I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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