also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I showed him my bush... on skype.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
