Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize