the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
