your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
