Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
