D3 body, D1 cock
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
