My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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