Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
