just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
