then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
