Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I am mentally ready for anal.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
