I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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