Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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