I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
