HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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