Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
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I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
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I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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