I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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