Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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