so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She's just so happy...and so naked.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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