he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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