I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
