My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
