she smelled like a LAN party
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
