He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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