Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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