I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
