I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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