mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
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he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
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I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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