So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have post one night stand depression
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
