...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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