I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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