Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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